The Grist 13 And Shitty 7 — December 2007

The Grist 13

1. Stephen Colbert For President
He's a fake comedy construct, which would make him the most genuine and honourable leader in ages.

2. Simian Mobile Disco's "Hustler" Videos
The new video is all food fetish, the old one is that make-out circle thingee. Both prove the entertainment industry is full of perverts… in a good way.

3. Sweeney Todd
Another Tim Burton movie for all you weirdoes.

4. Hot Chicks With Douchebags
It's pretty much self-explanatory. Check it here.

5. Dancing Cockatoos
Only one fascinating Google search away. For the record, playing Hatebreed real loud just makes cats hide in the closet.

6. George Clooney Potentially Playing G.I. Joe
We can all agree on this one, right?

7. Buck 65
Does anyone hate Buck? And if so, do they also hate puppies and fluffy clouds?

8. "Toots"
Insult of the month courtesy of Buck 65, beating out "lactator" in reference to steroid-addled males and "potato."

9. Modding Your Wii Or PlayStation
One part act of rebellion, one part gateway to unlimited entertainment. All wicked.

10. Guacamole
The only thing that sucks is when they don't give you enough with your nachos.

11. A Rubber Tie With A 3-D Dracula On It
We understand they're Anna Wintour-endorsed.

12. Effective Christmas Coping Strategies
'Tis the season where everyone's an idiot. Plan ahead for it and you'll be fine.

13. Iran
It could genuinely be the worst, most evil country in the world, but do you trust the people who are telling you it's the worst, most evil country in the world?

Shitty 7

1. Holly Dolly's Pretty Donkey Girl
Definitive proof that Italy is wrong.

2. Black Light
It's impossible to endorse anything that highlights dandruff on your sweater.

3. Cutting Your Finger On The Edge Of A Bagel
Impossible, you say? Not true.

4. PlayStation 3's Latest Price Drop
Still not enough. We'll keep endorsing the Wii.

5. Cat Poo Coffee
Apparently the crap from the luwak of Indonesia makes tasty coffee. We'll pass, thanks.

6. Present Guilt
Y'know, when someone gives you something disproportionately expensive relative to the depth of your friendship to them. Awkward.

7. Shipwrecks
Sure they look cool when National Geographic does specials on 'em, but they're a lot less fun when you're on the ship that goes down.

The following Grist list was from our December 2007 issue. To purchase the issue, head on over to the Chart Shop.