The Grist 13 And Shitty 7 — March 2008

11/14/08 3:42pm

The Grist 13

1. Spring Break
Unless a police officer finds your friend passed out naked and then gives him a drive back to your hotel, you've failed.

2. Grand Theft Auto IV
Have you seen the trailers yet? I pooped my pants a little.

3. Getting A Free Couch
Having to lug it up four flights of stairs sucked, but still.

4. Looking At Strangers' Facebook Photos
We'd appreciate more nudity, though.

5. Fainting Goats
Google it and prepare to laugh your ass off.

6. Old Cemeteries
Good for both ghost-chasing and making out in.

7. Metallica
We've made fun of 'em ever since they cut their hair, but Ride The Lightning still rules.

8. "This is untoward! This is not toward!"
Particularly useful exasperation phrase of the month courtesy of Tracy Jordan on 30 Rock.

9. Michael Cera
It's like he's a young Woody Allen without everything that makes Woody annoying.

10. Torchwood
The original Dr. Who totally ignored all the pansexual alien lovin'.

11. Canadian Hip-Hop
Most people still doing it have realized they'll be poor forever. But they still do it. That's admirable.

12. Curry Potato Chips
We've come a long way since barbeque and regular flavours.

13. The ChartAttack Hack Hockey Club
Support our fight against evil this Easter weekend. Check myspace.com/chartattackhack.

And Shitty 7

1. Lenny Kravitz
If you like him, ask yourself: "What kind of person am I?"

2. Your Opinion About Heath Ledger
Nobody gives a shit.

3. Retro '90s Nights
Old Bush songs aren't worth it.

4. Coffee Time Proprietors Being Victimized By The Man (When They Get Caught Selling Dope Over The Counter)
They're just regular guys trying to provide a service for the needy.

5. Feist
Sure, we love her. We just want to make sure we're first off the bandwagon...

6. TMZ TV
If you watch this show you're contributing to the steady decline of culture.

7. Magazines
People get all their information on the internet nowadays, right?

The following Grist 13, Shitty 7 is from the March 2008 issue of Chart Magazine. To purchase the issue, head on over to the Chart Shop.