Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving, when people quit pretending to like their families and flood the price-slashing retail outlets nationwide, stocking up on the things that really make them happy. And whether you’re staying at home, gearing up to go, or recovering from what’s either Western civilization’s nadir or proudest accomplishment, we’ve put together eight songs that will line up with what you’re feeling.
Fabolous feat. Drake – “Throw It In The Bag” (remix)
Today is the only day of the year for many people to bring home rapper-sized hauls of shopping, so there’s no better way to get pumped than listening to some hip-hop. Remember, today, Drake is your spirit animal, and Fabolous is your Mufasa, chilling in the clouds and nodding in approval as you kick someone in the dick for an XBox.
Blur – “Advert”
Maybe you’re only buying what you need today, and you’re feeling a little self-righteous about it. And that’s totally fine! Celebrate your knowledge that fulfillment and self-knowledge cannot be found in material goods with this Britpop classic. Just maybe don’t play it on your new iPod.
The Clash – “Lost In The Supermarket”
If you just happen to be that baby that was abandoned in a Kmart parking lot today, this one’s for you.
Funkadelic – “Funky Dollar Bill”
Today, buyer’s remorse is as inevitable as a credit card statement that reads like your own obituary. So if you want to curse your purchase, even for only a few minutes, put on this crazy, capitalism-skewering funk jam and scream into your 75 cent official Shrek pillow, of which you bought six.
Franz Ferdinand – “Shopping For Blood”
If you’re one of the most dedicated Black Friday shoppers, the kind the rest of us hear about on the evening news, this could be your anthem. Once you get locked into the deals, you become like the song: slurred, mechanic, and totally demented. And yeah, I know that the band were talking about blood metaphorically, but there’s probably going to be some literal bloodshed if you want to get absolutely everything you came for.
Broken Bells – “The Mall and the Misery”
Let’s face it: superstores can be dire places. You might be faced with some second thoughts about the whole thing. That’s totally cool. Just do exactly as this song says and go with your heart. Just don’t do the wrong thing.
The National – “Lemonworld”
Here’s one for all the old-fashioned dads out there, the History Channel-watching, outdoor hobby-having salts of the earth who are right now glued to their phones and television sets, hoping that their families haven’t been crushed to death. This moribund ballad from the Ohio band paints a specific picture of a troubled out-of-touch older gent, and I imagine he wouldn’t “get” this whole craziness either.
A Great Big Pile Of Leaves – “Meet Me At The Mall, Bring Your Swim Trunks”
Who’s up for Walmart run? I hear they’ve restocked tupperware!