Tupac’s hologram, Kids cover Rammstein, Van Halen’s new video, and a hip-hop hymn

NETDUMP is where CHARTattack posts all the links that are preventing us from working, in the hopes that they also prevent you from working, thereby evening everything out in a cosmic sense.

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TERRIFYING BILINGUAL CHILDREN PLAY AWESOME RAMMSTEIN COVER

“CHILDREN MEDIEVAL BAND” may be the sort of name that automatically widens your eyes and makes you glance around nervously, but would it help if I told you that these doe-eyed youths play intimidatingly operatic German metal remarkably well? No? Ok.

VAN HALEN CAN AFFORD BETTER VIDEO DIRECTORS 

Van Halen’s new single is taken from A Different Kind of Truth, their misguided and unnecessary attempt at legitimizing their reunion. While the song is an unadventurous bit of glam-metal that will please die-hard fans, the video is a low-rent mixture of slideshows, dishonest small-venue performance footage and “Ass Cams.” But the real beguiling star is David Lee Roth, who now dances like a David Lee Roth impersonator might during the early 80s.

TUPAC’S HOLOGRAM WINS FOR EERIEST COACHELLA PERFORMANCE

If you don’t feel like watching Dre & Snoop’s entire Coachella performance (but you really should, ’cause it’s amazing), you probably still want to see Tupac’s digitally reanimated self perform “Hail Mary” and “2 of Amerika’s Most Wanted” with Snoop Dogg. For all technology’s foibles (nuclear weapons, HD Kardashians), it’s nice to see it used for good every now and then, especially when it comes in the form of a CGI-animated dead rapper awkwardly Crip-walking in front of 90,000 people.

DANCING IN CHURCH CAN BE DOPE-FRESH

I’m sure that no one’s more tired of those sleepy old hymns than Jesus himself. So he’s probably happy to hear this hip new praise and it’s insane popping-and-locking.