Gob's Rocktoberfest Halloween Nightmare

10/11/00 7:30am

by Aaron Brophy (CHARTattack)

Those Vancouver punk brats Gob are set to make a big splash in the next couple of months. Not only did they do their best to sabotage the MuchMusic Video Awards, their new album The World According To Gob tows a fine line between Blink-y pop-punk, old crusty style punk and even straight rock. Surely it's a combo ripe for success.

Seeing how Gob did this reaallly spooky photo shoot for us, we figured we should honour them by asking a bunch of scarrrry questions. Well, they started scary... but just ended up being smart-ass in the end. Here they are:

ChartAttack: What is the coolest horror movie way to die?
a) Trip over rock, fall down, get axed in the back.
b) Raped by tree branch.
c) Stabbed in ear with rusty poker.
d) Being tied down and eaten alive by big beetles.
e) Have an alien baby pop out of your stomach.
Gob: a

Why?
It's the rock. It gets you every time. Think about it.

Who is the biggest sissy in the band and why don't they just shut the fuck up?
Gabe "The Old Man" Mantle. He clams up when he has his medicine.

The following are rumours we've heard about gob. Answer true or false.
a) You've been known to wear women's clothing.
True. Except for Gabe.

b) You've ruined Juno parties by running around plastering "Gob" stickers on people.
True.

c) You once put a "Gob" sticker on the "manly unit" of a big expensive looking statue.
True.

d) Two members of your band are direct lineal descendants of Jean Chretien.
Tabernacle!

e) You were drinking with Jeff Martin, but when he pulled out the absinthe and Ouija board you got the hell outta Dodge.
True. But we shit-kicked him first, put a Gob sticker on his back, then split.

f) Two bottles of tequila + one camera = one nude punk band.
True. But no tequila necessary.

g) You hate the drummer from Green Day.
False.

h) Your "used Gob panties" eBay business is more profitable than actual touring.
True.

i) The statement "Just look at him" while pointing at Theo always gets you out of trouble with the cops.
False. Gets us in trouble.

j) You've seen Jason Priestley naked.
True.

What's your new album about anyway?
Nuts, balls and wieners.

Why should I care?
Because you're nuts and you're a wiener!

Why the heck don't kids understand that Iron Maiden rule?
Iron who? Mullethead.

What's up with Korn?
They're on the Barenaked Ladies Moist Korn Hole tour.

Don't computers suck?
No, The Moffatts couldn't make a record without one.

So why all the farting and spitting and weird faces?
Awww, you hurt Theo's feelings. He can't help it.

Why can't white people dance?
Obviously you haven't seen our dance moves...

What's with the hippies?
You mean the Chart staff?

Check out our Gob cover story in the October issue of Chart Magazine.