AND THE WINNER IS...
 Here are the straight goods: the full list of winners for the seventh annual MuchMusic Video Awards. :

 People's Choice Female: Alanis Morissette (Ironic)
 People's Choice Male: Jim Carrey (Somebody to Love)
 People's Choice Group: I Mother Earth (One More Astronaut)
 People's Choice Video: Alanis Morissette (Ironic)
 Best Concept: Misogyny, Rusty. Director: Bruce LaBruce
 Video: Ahead by a Century, the Tragically Hip. Director: Eric Yealland
 Global Groove Award: Sleepy Maggie, Ashley MacIsaac. Director: Javier
 Editing: Brenda Stubbert (second version), Ashley MacIsaac. Director: Javier and Nunca
 Alternative Video: Plasticity, Front Line Assembly. Director: Rod Chong
 Rap Video: Hate Runs Deep, Saukrates. Director: Sean Buckley
 International Video: Ironic, Alanis Morissette. Director: Stephane Sednaoui
 Dance Video: Astroplane, BKS. Director: Cosimo Zitani
 Director: Curtis Wehrfritz for Sister Awake, the Tea Party.
 Videofact Award: Goin' Up, Great Big Sea. Director: Andrew McNaughtan
 Soul/R and B Video: Diamond Dreams, Bass is Base. Director: George Vale
 Cinematography: Sleepy Maggie, Ashley MacIsaac. Director: Federico
 French Video: Tout Simplement Jaloux, Beau Dommage. Director: Denis Villeneuve
 Independent Video: Rockin' in the Henhouse, Huevos Rancheros. Director: Robert Cuffley/Ando Leuchter
 Multimedia: I Mother Earth
Source: HREF="http://www.canoe.ca/jammusic">Jam

AND NOW THAT YOU'VE SEEN THE STATS, READ WHAT REALLY HAPPENED...

Courtesy of Chart's Music Editor, Liisa Ladouceur, who spent the night working hard to bring you the real news:

For a company obsessed with the medium of television (and therefore music videos), MuchMusic made one thing clear with its party for The Canadian Music Video Awards: the guests were there to "be" on television, not to watch. The good part of that is getting to eat free New York Fries and drink free beverages 'til you puke (hopefully not on camera). The bad part is trying to keep track of everything that's going on. With award presentations, live performances and sketches happening in various parts of the Much "environment," the most popular game of the evening was staring at a nearby video monitor and playing "guess where that is." This is too bad, because some of Canada's biggest names in music were in the house, only nobody could find them. (Bryan Adams was later found at the Horseshoe club down the street, sweating it out for a very priviledged few.) No trouble spotting members of The Tea Party, treble charger and Moist, however, which made me think I was at *last* year's awards all over again. Given the necessity of those nearby monitors to keep one in touch with the proceedings, it's surprising how few of them there were, and how many of those were muted. After jostling my way through the hords and straining to hear, I figured out that Front Line Assembly won something, and so did Huevos Rancheros. I can live with that. Didn't catch any trophies being doled out for that great Tea Party clip, "Sister Awake," and that was too bad. The CMVAs really are the closest thing Canada's music scene has to a real celebrity, back-patting hootenany, but in typical Cannuk fashion the scene was pretty mellow. Only one glimpse of Ashley McIssaac puffing on a cigar to lend an air of excess. And the bar ran out of bottled water while the alcohol poured infinitely. Perhaps MuchMusic should have bring back a metal category to attack some rock 'n' roll bad boys to the bash. Otherwise, best to sit back and enjoy the show on TV where you can at the very least turn up the volume.
- Liisa Ladouceur

An editorial p.s.: Did anyone check out how funny it was when Alanis won 'People's Choice Best Female' and the audience broke into an impromptu version of "Never Too Hot, Never To Cold...." her old Tiffany-like teenybopper tune?! Whooo-whee! If looks could kill!

R.E.M. GETS REAL

If you love hearing it live -- and clear -- then this one's for you. The new version of RealAudio has just hit public domain, and the creators wanted to debut it in style. They decided to put together an exclusive special/interview with R.E.M.; virgin words from virgin technology. If you're into taking a listen, head right over here --->Addicted To Noise

Got some news? Then e-mail me, dammit! denise@mindlink.net